Recently, I was confronted with a problem and what amounted to a betrayal of trust. Reacting as most would feeling hurt and disappointed, I struggled with the feelings for a bit and found it absorbing my thoughts & ruining my day. I didn’t want my day ruined by being upset over someone else's actions. So, I decided to make a different choice; put away my work and focused on something else fun for a while.
I knew I didn't want to be coming at this dilemma from these emotions. I checked-in to see how I should best care for myself to get to where I wanted to be from how I was feeling in those moments.
How would I act/feel coming at this from a perspective of oneness rather than separateness? A question I often ask and a very easy question to get us moving in the right direction is:
"What would LOVE do?
You've probably heard it or seen this question many times. Me too. I even have the tee shirt, but in that moment the question wasn't only what would it do, but really --
How could I best arrive at feeling like doing what LOVE would do from how I was feeling in that moment?
The answer came quickly and was:
1. Decide to. -- Yes, I already had made that choice.
2. Meditate. -- To relieve stress and gain clarity so, then I did.
3. Take care of my heart-- It’s important to heal hurts and be sure those hurts don’t cause you to close off your heart little by little. So, then I did that too.
“Deciding to” isn't always easy, I know. We have to catch ourself first and want something different without avoiding the emotions or cutting them off. They'll only come back later or in different form - maybe even as illness or injury. Sometimes it requires a shift in perspective, which can then shift the emotions. For me, that involved steps 2 & 3.
A short meditation practice allowed me to feel content, settled and whole; to reconnect with my best self, the idea of oneness (that he or she is me) and to ask what would I say to myself if I had done it? I felt much better, but it wasn’t fully shifted yet.
Tuning-in and checking on what else I needed, I realized the Heart Chakra opening in my Chakradance practice would be perfect. So, I danced it very late that night and later drifted off to sleep no longer feeling hurt or betrayed.
When I awoke the next morning, I was still in that shifted state and it has stayed that way since. Even when I've thought about the issue, it's no longer emotionally charged.
I was - and am - really pleased that I listened to that part of me that wanted something better and acted accordingly - and as a friend told me - that shift (and how quickly it happened) is a good testament to my personal self-care practices.
This was a good reminder of how important these practices can be in a very tangible sense. And how very grateful I am to be able to teach and share these practices so, you have them available to help you too.
These aren't the only practices that can help, of course, but with all of them you have to do it. You have to practice. I doubt mine would have been as effective if I didn't have an ongoing regular practice which includes these two and Reiki. Simply dipping in at an emotional moment of need may be helpful, but regular practice is MUCH better. I think that's the real reason why it shifted so quickly for me this time and stayed that way.
“When all your desires are distilled; you will cast just two votes: to love more, and be happy.” Rumi
I hope I do as well next time I’m tested, but we’re all works in progress so I’ll celebrate this one as a victory and hope the next time takes care of itself. Either way I can honestly say these practices certainly help me — to love more and be happy.